- Lack of honesty and integrity: If the partner admits to cheating on a test or trivial thefts, it suggests a lack of ethics and integrity. Those who run a shady or borderline illegal businesses also fall in this category, as it reveals their lack of integrity.
- History of arrests or short relationships: Past arrest history, jail time, or a series of short-lived relationships indicate potential character flaws that may affect your relationship.
- Evasiveness about past relationships or job history: If your partner avoids discussing their past relationships or employment history, it can be a warning sign of hidden issues. The inability to hold a job may show a lack of stability or responsibility.
- Issues with holding jobs, losing friends, or expecting gifts: Problems with maintaining employment can imply irresponsibility and a lack of perseverance. Having no friends may indicate deep-seated issues while expecting gifts or favors show a transactional nature.
- Possessive or controlling behavior: Partners who show signs of possessiveness, jealousy, or attempt to control every aspect of the relationship might have deep insecurities.
- Lack of prioritization or investment in the relationship: Partners who do not appear invested in or willing to prioritize the relationship might not be suited for a long-term commitment.
- Poor communication skills: If a partner lacks good communication skills, it can lead to ongoing unresolved issues that could eventually turn toxic and dysfunctional.
- Unwillingness to engage in personal development: A partner's unwillingness to engage in personal growth can lead to a toxic relationship.
- Dishonesty in interactions with others: If a partner tends to lie to others - directly or by omission - it could indicate a tendency towards manipulation and lack of integrity.
- Showing constant emergencies or problems: A partner who constantly faces emergencies or problems might indicate an inability to handle life situations effectively.
- Determined by money, power, and fame: Those driven excessively by money, power, and fame might prioritize personal gains over maintaining the relationship.
- Disregarding others' opinions and a lack of empathy: Those who disregard others' feelings or lack empathy may not be able to maintain a healthy relationship.
- Verbal abuse and name-calling: Engaging in verbal abuse, name-calling or yelling are strong signs indicating a dysfunctional relationship.
- Easily gets angry or exhibits violent behavior: A partner who has a temper, shows signs of violence, or constantly blames you, indicates a potential abusive relationship.
- Taking undue advantage: Being in a relationship with someone on psychiatric medications can complicate things due to emotional and mental instability. Long-distance relationships without a concrete plan or if a person wants to continue seeing other people suggest a lack of commitment.
- Unwillingness to work on personal shortcomings: If a partner denies their flaws and refuses to change, it's a huge red flag.
- Job instability: An inability to hold onto a job for sustained periods can signify irresponsibility, inconsistency, and lack of perseverance. This can lead to personal financial issues, negatively impacting their overall happiness and potentially causing strain on the relationship.
- Losing or having no friends: If the partner is continuously losing friends or lacks friends altogether, this may indicate underlying issues causing others to avoid them. Close attention should be given to the reasons why friends are distancing themselves.
- Expectation of money, gifts or favors: A transactional relationship can be an indicator of dysfunction. If the partner pressures or hints at desired gifts frequently, this expectation suggests a potential imbalance in the relationship.
- Chronic lateness or forgetfulness: Consistent tardiness or completely standing the partner up demonstrates a lack of respect and responsibility. Likewise, continuous forgetfulness could suggest deep-seated character flaws making it hard to rely on the individual in the long run.
- Possessive behavior and jealousy: Overbearing monitoring, controlling, or jealous tendencies point towards deep insecurities that the partner needs to address.
- Clinginess and overly available behavior: Constant availability and an obsessive need to be in contact can be seen as red flags, suggesting insecurity and codependency. Balanced independence and a life outside the relationship should be promoted.
- Excessive need to see the partner: If the partner demands frequent contact or gets upset if these expectations are not met, it demonstrates clinginess and a lack of an independent life, leading possibly to harmful codependency.
- Partner is too busy to meet regularly: If the partner is unable or unwilling to invest time in the relationship regularly, it shows a lack of commitment and willingness to make the relationship a priority.
- Refusal to improve communication skills: Good communication is key to a successful relationship. An unwillingness to learn and improve their communication skills is a significant red flag, as unresolved issues can escalate and lead to a toxic and dysfunctional relationship.
- Unwillingness to learn about relationships: A person who refuses to watch videos, read books, or attend seminars to learn about and improve the relationship is a major red flag. Relationships, like cars, need maintenance and time invested in them. People who refuse to develop their understanding of relationships are poor candidates for long-term ones.
- Lying to other people: If a person lies to others - be it in business, to friends, or to strangers - they are likely to lie to you as well. This is a clear sign of low integrity and should be considered when evaluating a potential partner.
- Manipulative use of truth: People who twist facts or omit critical information to manipulate situations or perceptions demonstrate a fundamentally manipulative personality. It indicates that they are likely manipulating you as well, and are therefore not suitable partners.
- Constant emergencies: Someone who is always in a crisis or emergency situation suggests instability and an inability to manage their own life. Engaging in a relationship with such a person can lead to stress and anxiety.
- Perfectionism and hypercritical behavior: If a person is constantly criticizing everything and everyone, they're likely to criticize you as well, even if not expressed openly. They will never be satisfied, always seeking something 'better', which undermines relationship stability and commitment.
- Cutthroat in business: If a person is ruthless and cutthroat in their business dealings, it suggests that they could potentially be the same in their personal relationships. Particularly if they disregard integrity for personal gain, it increases the likelihood they will sacrifice their relationships for money, power, or fame.
- Narcissistic and driven by money, power, and fame: If a person's primary values are money, power, and fame rather than love and intimacy, it's a warning sign. Pursuing these values can lead to dissatisfaction and potential sacrifice of relationships for personal gain.
- Disregard for others' opinions: People who disregard the opinions and feelings of others may appear confident, but their lack of empathy or compassion will lead to problems in the relationship.
- Importance of examining partner's behavior: Be wary of partners who appear overly confident and indifferent to the opinions of others, as this may indicate a lack of compassion and empathy, which are crucial to a healthy relationship. Narcissistic tendencies and disregard for others are warning signs of potential toxicity.
- Understanding verbal abuse: If your partner resorts to name-calling, foul language, or yelling, it's a red flag indicating verbal abuse. Heated arguments should never escalate to shouting matches, as open communication should peacefully address grievances in a healthy relationship.
- Identifying temper issues: If the person you're with displays short temper and snaps at others for slight inconveniences, you should be cautious. This behavior could eventually target you and negatively impact the relationship.
- Recognizing violent behavior: If your partner resorts to breaking things or throwing objects in a fit of rage, this is a clear sign of dysfunctionality, indicating that such a relationship won't fare well.
- Understanding threats in a relationship: If your partner threatens to leave the relationship as a response to your grievances or suggestions, this indicates a lack of respect and a possible propensity for manipulation.
- Issues of blame: A red flag is raised if your partner blames you for every issue without accepting any responsibility. In a healthy relationship, both parties should take full responsibility for their parts rather than pointing fingers.
- Effects of psychiatric medications: Being in a relationship with someone on psychiatric medications can be challenging, as it affects their emotional state and clarity of thought.
- Caution with long-distance relationships: Long-distance relationships without a plan to eventually close the distance can indicate insecurity or lack of investment. Such arrangements rarely succeed long-term.
- Desire to see other people: If a potential partner expresses a desire to continue seeing other people, this indicates a lack of commitment to you and the relationship.
- Not tolerating certain flaws: It's not too much to ask for certain standards in a partner, such as being able to hold down a job, not cheating or stealing, being ready to work on communication skills, and being open to personal growth.
- Recognizing and addressing flaws in a relationship: If a partner acknowledges their flaws and is willing to work on them, that is a positive sign. However, if a partner denies their flaws and refuses to change, that is a major red flag.
- Cutting out toxic relationships: If some red flags are spotted within a relationship, it is best to cut that person out immediately. Dysfunctional relationships can sap happiness, energy and can lead to abuse and financial loss.
- Overcoming fear of leaving a relationship: One of the biggest reasons people are afraid to leave their partner is due to a lack of options with the opposite sex. It's important to create more options by meeting more men or women and committing to creating more of these options.
- Self Assessment Exercise for a more aware Relationship: Leo suggests an exercise involving completing sentence stems and generating answers without overthinking. The stems are: 1) If I were totally honest, my partner's red flags are blank. 2) The biggest thing I fear about leaving my partner is blank. 3) If I took 100% responsibility for my relationship, I would blank. 4) 20 ways that I could create more sexual options are blank.
- Improving attractiveness and exposure for more options: Leo suggests brainstorming 20 ways, both big and small, to enhance attractiveness and expose oneself to more people. These could range from getting a new haircut, losing weight or even moving to a new city.
- Addressing issues within the relationship: If a toxic relationship is identified, addressing it by discussing with the partner and checking if they're willing to work on communication and relationship skills is a good first step. If they are not willing to do those things, it is then suggested to cut ties.