- Usage of 2C-B for existential tripping: Leo experimented with 2C-B, a recreational psychedelic commonly used at parties. Unlike most users, his interest in 2C-B was more existential than recreational.
- Method of 2C-B administration: He administered the drug rectally, believing this method provides a complete dose, a rapid onset of effects, and bypasses problems like nausea and the need for an empty stomach.
- Initial effects of 2C-B: After taking 2C-B, Leo began to experience mild dissociation, a strange body load, and subtle shifts in his visual field. To combat some nausea, ginger pills were used.
- Enhancement of Visual Experience: Moving to the floor, Leo noticed waves in his visual field which led to questioning the nature of visual perception and consciousness. He began to see visuals such as psychedelic colors and patterns resembling those on mushrooms.
- Introspection during psychedelic experience: Leo became introspective, pondering existential questions about consciousness, the Self, life, reality, Brahman, and God. Surrendering control of his mind, Leo allowed the 2C-B to guide his introspective journey.
- Experience of 'groundlessness': Leo encountered the concept of "groundlessness," a realization that everything known is only a surface with no ultimate grounding. This allowed him to experience deep existential wisdom and beauty.
- Experience of physical ego death: Leo felt that the boundary between his body and the so-called 'reality' began to dissolve. The experience felt equivalent to a physical death which Leo found beautiful and intriguing. He emphasized that consciousness, itself, renders the concept of a physical body meaningless.
- Open-mindedness as a precursor to death experience: Leo connects his open-mindedness and experience in contemplation and psychedelics as precursors to his feeling of nearing physical death. He describes finding beauty in accepting death, and the role that his contemplative journey and open-mindedness played in leading him there.
- Experience of 'complete disintegration': As he closed his eyes, Leo experienced a complete disintegration of self. His sense of self shifted from his head to his heart, while his physical existence felt like it was coming to an end.
- Insights about death: Leo views his death experience as the most incredible and positive event that brought immense relief, peace, and joy. Despite doubting the experience, Leo came to understand that death isn't in need of external validation.
- Realization of universal oneness: Following death, Leo had a realization that he was a manifestation of the universe itself. This understanding came with grappling over the existential implications of such realization, and he saw this cannot be genuinely shared with or proven to others.
- Understanding of physical reality: While reflecting on the trip, Leo had a breakthrough, realizing that things perceived as physical objects, like his hands or a coffee table, are just surfaces in the field of consciousness. He ended up contemplating the meaning of his experience and its residual effects.
- Approach towards psychedelic usage: Leo reflects on his previous spiritual progress and the synergy between neurofeedback brain training, meditation, and psychedelics. He views the psychedelics as part of a larger spiritual progression, which has allowed him to gradually deal with his fears and go deeper into the experiences.
- Enlightenment as 'physical death': Enlightenment, according to Leo, feels like dying as well. By surrendering and facing fears, one can deepen the experience of ego-death or existential crises. His recent experience with 2C-B felt more encompassing than his previous enlightenments, though he admits that his ego returned after the peak of the enlightenment experience.
- Criticism and personal growth: Leo navigates criticisms on the temporary nature of enlightenment experiences through psychedelics, advocating for their transformative potential. However, he admits the necessity of continued effort for the sustained realization and integration of such experiences, much like in meditation.
- Conclusion of the video: In the conclusion, Leo firmly states that all critical insights have been covered in the video. He invites his viewers to stay connected via his website actualized.org, for more content in future. He also asks viewers to subscribe to his newsletter and access his blog, forum, and exclusive resources.
- Impending Sense of Physical Death: Leo talks about feeling an overwhelming sensation of being on the verge of physical death, which he attributes to a radically open mindset and full surrender to the experience. He elaborates that this is not merely a psychological concept of ego death but feels like actual physical death. This experience of dying, he says, was beautiful, profound, and so intense that it entranced him completely, leaving him narrationless. He further explains that the experience of physical death isn't about a failing body; it's about the breaking down of reality and the paradigms one operates from.
- Retrospective Contemplation: As he mentally prepares for death, he starts retrospectively contemplating his life, regrets, and the purpose of his past actions, which he likens to facing his creator. He describes this as a sober and conscious process rather than one filled with fear or discomfort.
- Open Mindedness and Acceptance: Leo credits his extensive personal contemplation and prior, powerful psychedelic trips for his open-minded acceptance and exploration of this approaching death experience. Leo even reflects on the idea that his lifelong pursuit of open-mindedness has now led him to experience, rather welcomingly, this point of physical death.
- The Experience of Dying: Leo describes a complete disintegration, an 'ego death,' which feels as though he's physically dying. He explains that in this state, with the boundaries between physical and non-physical realities dissolving, the entire paradigm of the physical body ceases to exist, and the body is simply surfaces within consciousness. His experience of physically dying felt so real and profound that he didn't mind surrendering to the experience completely, even when he felt he had crossed the point of no return.
- Implications on Consciousness and Reality: During this trip, he comes to a unique understanding of existence he refers to as 'groundlessness' wherein he realizes everything in reality or existence that we know are mere surfaces with no ultimate grounding and this loops infinitely. Reflecting on the nature of reality, he observes the notion of groundlessness and is completely entranced by the profound beauty of these realizations, which resonate so deeply they transcend emotions and tears.
- Experience of Death during the Psychedelic Trip: Leo describes the sensation of physical death during his psychedelic experience. He likens it to a supernova or an ice cube melting into the ocean: a complete dissolution and dispersal of his individual self. He feels a shift of his selfhood from his head to his heart, reaching a peak of intense internal experience. He identifies this as his moment of death when his personal identity vanished completely, leaving only the universe itself.
- Understanding of Death Post-Trip: Upon looking back at his experience, Leo conveys that death felt like an immense relief, akin to shedding a heavy burden. He felt immense peace, joy, and a sense of overwhelming beauty. He understands that he won't get external validation for this experience and likens it to a radical liberation.
- Experience of Rebirth: After dying, Leo re-emerges but without his former sense of self. He feels as though he is part of everything and everything is part of him. He accepts a metaphorical applause from the universe for having faced his death, comparing it to the story of the Buddha awakening and causing the earth to tremble.
- The Experience of the Physical World Post-Trip: After his experience of death and re-emergence, Leo perceives the world differently; he senses no physical boundaries and comically likens this to entering an avatar in the James Cameron movie. As his perspective shifted, he didn't perceive objects or his body as physical entities anymore, but rather as manifestations in a field of consciousness.
- Effects of the Trip Lasting for Hours: Despite reaching a peak in the first few hours, the trip continues for six more hours, and Leo can feel its lingering effects for almost 12 hours. However, there aren't any significant developments because he feels hes already gone through the deepest experience possible.
- Lessons from the Psychedelic Trip: Leo emphasizes that the depth of a psychedelic experience doesn't necessarily depend on the potency of the substance or the size of the dose, but rather on preparation, intent, seriousness, and receptiveness to existential experiences. Leo reiterates that traditionally considered party drugs can provide profound experiences when approached with this mindset.
- Contemplative practices and diet: Leo explains that the foundation of his profound experiences comes from months of self-inquiry, mindfulness, a healthy plant-based diet, and contemplative practices.
- Synergy of practices and psychedelics: Leo discusses how all his practices, along with previous psychedelic trips, synergize to enhance his psychedelic experiences, making even party drugs like 2C-B produce powerful effects.
- Psychedelic trips as spiritual progression: Leo discovered that his trips are not isolated experiences, but part of a spiritual trajectory, akin to a hero's journey towards ultimate truth. This involves facing inner fears, confronting personal demons, and gaining deeper understanding over time.
- Relationship between enlightenment and physical death: Leo argues that enlightenment is equivalent to physical death, giving the individual a sense that they have lost their selfhood and merged with the universe. This is what gives enlightened people a sense of "inner death".
- Positive perception of physical death: Personal insight from Leo's trip led him to view physical death as a positive transformation, something to look forward to, as it marks the end of superficial tasks and the start of a spiritual journey.
- Importance of surrender: He emphasizes the importance of facing latent fears in order to achieve deeper levels of surrender, leading to deeper experiences of ego death.
- Degrees of Ego Death: Leo explains that there are different degrees of ego death which he has experienced on his trips. While previous experiences felt psychological, his recent experience felt physical and totalakin to physical death.
- Temporary nature of psychedelic experiences: Despite criticism that psychedelic experiences are temporary, Leo argues that these brief windows of "enlightenment" can create significant transformative shifts in the individual. Continued effort is needed to fully comprehend these profound experiences.
- Shifts in relationship to death: Leo reports a significant change in his attitude towards death, viewing it as a deepening of spiritual understanding, rather than something to fear.
- Segment Conclusion: The segment concludes with Leo summarizing the main points of the video and inviting viewers to visit his website for further resources. He also teases the possibility of more detailed insights in a written trip report.