How To Get Laid - Part 1 - The Foundations Of Success With Women

Leo's Background and Experience in Dating: Leo acknowledges that he was naturally introverted and focused heavily on his education and career before actively trying towork on his social and dating life. After reaching a successful point in his career and educational pursuits,Léo prioritized understanding the psychology of dating and attraction, which subsequently led him to self-help and ultimately spirituality. He has spent years learning and practicing pickup artistry, making thousands of approaches, and learning from some of the best pickup artists in the world.
Situation of men who struggle with attracting women: Leo addresses the struggle of intellectual, introverted, and socially awkward men who feel intimidated by women and believe that no attractive women would ever sleep with them. He advises them that the solution is not a quick fix or pickup lines, but deep changes to oneself and one's lifestyle to become an attractive man.
Leo's Approach towards Dating : He talks about needing to meet one's basic needs, such as shelter, security, and sexual needs, before being able to focus on higher needs, like spirituality and metaphysical matters. Leo argues that addressing sexual frustrations for men is an important aspect of human, personal, and spiritual development.
Dating and Self-Development: Leo says that improving one's dating life requires inner game and attitude changes rather than changing physical appearance only. He believes developing masculinity, confidence, charisma, humour, emotional stimulation, personality, passion, authenticity, vulnerability, and offering deep intimacy are traits that make a man attractive. Conversely, behaviours that make men unattractive include neediness, desperation, insecurity, fear, making explicit sexual comments, trying to impress, showing off, having boring logical conversations, forcing women to lead, being unclean, and being creepy.
Overcoming Stigmas Surrounding Dating, Sex, and Attraction: Leo acknowledges the social stigma and taboo around discussions of sex, dating, and attraction. However, he feels that directly approaching and understanding these matters allows one to unlearn the myths and fairy tales associated with them.
Addressing Limiting Beliefs about Dating and Success with Women: Leo mentions several limiting beliefs people might have related to sociability, dating, and relationships. He emphasizes the importance of overcoming such barriers, developing empathy, and maintaining ethical standards during interactions with women. Leo also points out the significance of personal growth and self-actualization in becoming genuinely attractive.
Leo's Practical Advice to Improve Dating Life: Leo provides a five-step approach to improving one's dating life: envisioning oneself attracting attractive women, studying the principles of attraction, regularly socializing, working on limiting beliefs and victim mindsets, and being tenacious and persistent. This strategy includes socializing more with both genders, avoiding toxic ideologies, and resisting distractions such as excessive gaming or binge-watching.
Addressing sexual frustration amongst men: Leo Gura emphasizes the difficulties men face in getting laid, particularly when they have limited social skills or are introverted. He believes these individuals need a dramatic lifestyle change to address their needs. If this issue remains unresolved, men may fall into toxic ideologies, such as Incel or Red Pill beliefs, leading to societal problems, including rape, abuse, and mass shootings.
Importance of a healthy approach to sex: He advocates for a responsible method of instruction for men to better understand how to attract and be successful with women, believing this can lead to healthier relationships and society. He warns that without this instructional approach, men will pursue sex either healthily or unhealthily, emphasizing that there is no third option wherein they simply abstain.
Different strategies to get laid: He discusses six primary methods of pursuing sex: cold approach or pickup (approaching strangers), social circle (through friends), work, celebrity/status, online game, and using money (prostitution). Each of these methods come with their own pros and cons, such as the geographical limitation of a social circle or the necessity of a large city for a successful cold approach.
Cold approach strategy: Cold approach, he argues, is the most versatile and abundant option, as it can be performed in various settings and on a large scale. With this strategy, men can fail repeatedly but still learn and improve due to the high volume of opportunities. However, living in a large city is necessary for cold approach to be successful.
Social circle strategy: Social circle, while being a common method, requires substantial maintenance and social skills. The circle can be lost if an individual changes cities, but its indirect nature and the potential for lasting relationships can be appealing. However, managing a large social circle can be challenging.
Downsides of different strategies: Leo analyzes the limitations and downsides of the other strategies. For instance, pursuing sex at work is risky and fraught with potential complications; using money, such as hiring escorts or prostitutes, has moral implications; depending on status or fame is not possible for the majority of people, and even online dating requires high physical attractiveness.
Dealing with failures and limiting beliefs: Leo encourages persistence and overcoming setbacks and failures in dating. He counters the limiting belief that opportunities to meet people are scarce, suggesting instead to consider relocating to a place with more opportunities. He also aids in understanding that age could affect the outcomes.
Advantages and Challenges of Cold Approach for Attracting Highly Attractive Women (Nines and Tens): Highly attractive women, often referred to as nines and tens, are generally pursued by men with substantial resources, making it difficult for men without these resources to attract them through mere 'cold approach'. Attractive women are often offered opportunities and advantages due to their appearance. Hence, to attract such women, one needs to offer more than just an opportunity to date, such as social value or status.
Attracting Highly Attractive Women through Social Circles: One way to attract these highly attractive women is by building a large social circle primarily comprising attractive women. By being the leader of this social circle, men can offer social value to prospective partners, which can be particularly appealing to attractive women who are typically very social. However, this strategy requires significant effort.
Challenges of Cold Approach: Cold approach, while advantageous for attracting less attractive or single women, has a steep learning curve that can be emotionally challenging for many men. It requires massive practice and effort and tends to work less effectively for attracting highly attractive women ('nines and tens').
Advantages and Limitations of Workplace Dating: While some people manage to find their partners at the workplace, this method can be risky and may often backfire, especially given the potential problems that can arise when mixing work with romantic involvement. Abuse of power, complications arising out of a relationship ending, and handling sour feelings are some of the problems associated with workplace dating.
Status and Celebrity as a Dating Strategy: Being a celebrity or having significant status is arguably the most effective way to attract women. However, achieving this level of fame and status is not feasible for most people. Furthermore, leveraging fame for dating could potentially lead to ethical and integrity issues.
Limitations in Using Fame for Dating: Even for those with some level of fame, such as YouTubers with millions of subscribers, leveraging this fame as a dating strategy might not be effective due to the narrow and niche nature of their celebrity status. These individuals also have to ensure they do not exploit their position or fame in their interaction with potential partners to avoid ethical problems.
Using Celebrity Status as a Strategy for Dating: Leo Gura admits that his modest degree of fame has occasionally led to romantic and sexual opportunities, yet not at a level sufficient to constitute a robust dating strategy. Real celebritieshighly famous actors, musicians, authors, for examplecan efficiently combine their life's work with their dating strategies, attracting women as they build their status and renown. This alignment of life purpose and dating is an efficient use of time but requires a level of fame that may take years to cultivate and might not be feasible for most people.
Online Game and Attraction Based on Looks: Leo says online dating is ineffective unless you are among the top 20% in terms of physical appearance. He asserts that dating apps are designed primarily for people who lack the motivation to meet partners face-to-face, and they intentionally prioritize matches for the most conventionally attractive members, rendering the platform frustrating and largely unproductive for others. Leo discourages relying on these services as a serious dating strategy.
Saying Money Cannot Lead to Genuine Attraction: Leo highlights the pitfalls of using wealth to attract partners. While finding women who are primarily interested in financial security or wealthor resorting to paying for sexis possible, such arrangements rarely lead to true intimacy or genuine attraction. He argues that equating dating success with financial outlay is misguided and undermines the potential for meaningful relationships.
Towards a Genuine Approach to Attraction: Leo advises against using trickery or manipulation to attract women. Instead, he advocates for transformative personal development that establishes individuals as genuinely attractive and high-value, rather than deploying disingenuous tactics to create a false impression. Genuine attraction is based on being an authentically high-quality partner, not on manipulation or deceit.
A Comprehensive Approach to Improving Dating Life: He provides five steps to improve dating life: envisioning oneself attracting attractive women, studying attraction principles, socializing regularly, tackling limiting beliefs and victim mentality, and persisting diligently. Leo guarantees that this approach does not heavily hinge on looks or wealth but requires regular interactions with women and a profound dedication to self-improvement. He also warns against the anticipation of instant gratification and reminds viewers that achieving meaningful results needs a substantial amount of effort.
The Importance of Inner Game: Leo emphasizes the importance of the mind and belief systems in successful dating. He underscores that an individual's beliefs about themselves, women, sex, and dating significantly impact their ability to forge satisfying relationships and a fulfilling sex life. He recommends working on the "inner game"overcoming negative self-perceptions and adjusting harmful beliefsbefore trying to apply dating "techniques". This foundation of healthy mental and emotional approaches to dating is crucial to any successful dating strategy.
The Importance of Personal and Spiritual Development: Leo ties all these ideas into personal and spiritual development, asserting that such growth allows individuals to become genuinely attractive and lead fulfilling, well-rounded lives. This transformation makes people naturally appealing and capable of building deep and meaningful relationships. He underscores the immense potential and opportunities this opens for them in their dating lives.
Importance of Masculinity and Personal Development: Leo Gura emphasizes the importance of men embracing their masculinity and combining it with qualities of stability, provider-ship, and emotional maturity to become an ideal partner. He warns against the pitfalls of toxic masculinity and emphasizes the importance of emotional intimacy, commitment, humor, and spirituality in forming strong male identities.
Perception of Attraction and Dating Success: Leo Gura discusses that the most significant obstacle in men's dating lives is not about physical attributes or financial situation, but rather their own involvement in social activities. He points out that if a man does not regularly interact with new, attractive women, it is virtually impossible for him to attract potential partners.
Common Reasons for Not Attracting Women: Leo Gura identifies the common reasons for men not attracting women. These center around an antisocial lifestyle, a lack of approach towards attractive women, having no flirting skills, and communicating in an overly logical, unromantic fashion. Other reasons include misconceptions about what attracts women, maintaining a victim mindset, and not being prepared to work on personal development to become more appealing to women.
Overcoming the Victim Mindset: Leo Gura advises that overcoming the victim mindset is integral to succeeding in dating. This mindset includes negative beliefs about one's attractiveness and doubting one's ability to appeal to potential partners. Intrinsically tied to this is an unwillingness to put in the effort needed to grow and evolve into a person women find attractive.
Key Steps to Improve Dating Life: Leo Gura outlines steps that can help improve one's dating life. These involve envisioning success in attracting women, studying the principles of attraction, increasing socialization, working on overcoming the victim mentality, and embodying persistence and tenacity. Notably, he emphasizes that success in attracting women is not about physical appearance or financial stability, but about frequent and consistent interaction with new women.
Engaging in More Face-to-Face Interaction: Leo Gura emphasizes the importance of reducing time spent on solitary activities such as video gaming or excessive internet usage, and instead urges spending more time on face-to-face social interactions. He advocates for a change in lifestyle that champions leaving the comfort zone and socializing more frequently.
The Role of Inner Game: Inner game, or self-confidence and attitude, according to Leo Gura, plays a significant role in dating success. He suggests that developing these inner attributes can override physical appearance and contribute more effectively to attracting women.
Traits Women Find Attractive: Gura lists traits that women generally find attractive in men. These include masculinity, confidence, charisma, humor and emotional stimulation. He suggests that developing these traits and focusing on being a person of high value, social standing, and approval can heighten attractiveness.
The Importance of Genuinely Being Happy: Leo highlights the importance of being genuinely happy and authentic when approaching women. He suggests that a balance of happiness, authenticity, vision, theoretical knowledge, consistent socializing, persistence, and overcoming limiting beliefs and a victim mindset can significantly improve dating success.
Avoiding Toxic Ideologies in Dating: Leo Gura warns against toxic ideologies in dating, such as demonizing or manipulating women. He emphasizes the importance of maintaining ethical standards, emphasizing empathy and integrity in all interactions.
The Importance of Being Social: Leo Gura consistently emphasizes the importance of being social and approaching women. He suggests that many individuals may struggle in dating due to being too introverted or not spending enough time interacting with potential partners. For these individuals, he recommends changing their lifestyle and spending more time with others.
Understanding What Attracts Women: Understanding what attracts women is a crucial aspect of dating success. Leo Gura argues that rather than physical appearance, factors such as confidence, masculinity, humor, charisma, and emotional stimulation significantly contribute to women's attraction towards men.
Significance of Being Social and Understanding Attraction: Leo insists that men must be proactive in their pursuit of women and that waiting for women to just fall into their laps is a futile approach. The true solution is becoming more social, and gaining a deep understanding of what women find attractive and unattractive. The objective should not be to win over just any woman but to become an attractive, strong man in general.
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs: Many men struggle with self-esteem issues and inner game problems such as not feeling entitled to attractive women, which are major obstacles to attracting women. These limiting beliefs need to be addressed and resolved to achieve success in dating.
Understanding Attraction: Men tend to focus on physical beauty in women, whereas women are more attracted to character traits such as confidence, leadership, strength, and assertiveness. This fundamental distinction needs to be understood by men for successful dating.
Feminine vs. Masculine Role: Leo discusses the stereotypised roles of men and women in relationships, with men being the protectors and providers, and women as nurturers and caretakers. These roles give rise to differences in what each gender seeks in a partner, with men desiring beauty and femininity, and women seeking leadership and strength. Accordingly, men should aim to develop these desirable traits.
Overcoming Inner Game Issues: Leo urges men to tackle their low self-esteem, self-doubt, perceived inadequacies, and fear that are limiting their dating success. Addressing these issues can unlock great potential in dating and other life areas.
The Power of Being Authentic: Becoming good at socializing, becoming charismatic, understanding masculinity, learning how women think, being authentically yourself, and dealing with dating obstacles effectively, are all essential steps towards improving one's dating life.
Success Requires Effort and Persistence: Leo highlights that success in dating does not come without effort and the journey may require several years and thousands of hours of work. He advises against seeking easy and magical solutions, instead recommending to tackle problems at their root.
Changing Life to Be More Social: Leo emphasizes the need to change one's lifestyle to become more sociable, which in turn would facilitate interactions with more potential partners. Attracting women is about establishing genuine connections and not merely sending the right pickup lines.
Understanding What Attracts Women: Women are attracted to confidence, charisma, strong personality, authenticity, passion, and intimacy. On the other hand, they are repelled by neediness, desperation, fakeness, and obnoxious sexual comments. Developing an understanding of these factors can greatly enhance a man's success with women.
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs Part 2: Leo also talks about other common limiting beliefs that men hold, such as thinking they're undeserving of attractive women or that women only want men with higher physical attractiveness or wealth. He emphasizes that these beliefs are flawed and need to be corrected to improve dating success.
Importance of Taking Serious Action: Leo encourages men to be proactive not only in improving their understanding of dating dynamics but also in taking action. This entails going out, approaching women, gaining experience, and learning from mistakes.
Understanding Gender Attraction Dynamics: Men and women need different things from each other in a relationship. Men often place a higher value on physical beauty, while women prioritize traits linked to survival and protection such as strength and leadership. An unattractive man can improve his attractiveness to women by developing traits like leadership, confidence, and assertiveness. Pickup game works for men because it helps them develop these attractive qualities, while it doesn't work for women because it doesn't help them enhance their physical attractiveness.
Overcoming Physical Insecurity: Many men believe that they can't attract women due to physical shortcomings such as height, weight, or ethnicity. However, these assumptions often result in self-confidence issues that are the true hindrance to attracting women. Essentially, it's not the physical shortcoming itself, but the insecurity it causes that is often the barrier to successful dating.
The Impact of Limiting Beliefs on Attraction: Limiting beliefs about one's physical attractiveness can significantly hinder dating success. For example, believing that only physical aspects such as jaw shape, muscle size, height, and facial attractiveness are the key features that attract women can result in individuals feeling 'stuck' and unable to change their attractiveness. However, the truth is that by working on qualities such as confidence, leadership, and assertiveness, any man can become attractive to women. The challenge lies in being willing to change and overcome the emotional attachments to old self-perceptions.
The Ability to Change Attractiveness: Although it's emotionally difficult to change oneself from being seen as unattractive to attractive, it's possible with effort, patience, and persistence. Contrarily, for women, it's often harder to become more physically attractive if they don't win the 'genetic lottery'. Men can enhance their attractiveness based on personality traits, something that women find very compelling.
Inner Game & Attraction: Inner game or mindset plays a significant role in a man's ability to attract women. Too much focus on physical shortcomings can generate a lack of confidence, leading men to underestimate their attractiveness. Overcoming limiting beliefs about physical appearance can significantly improve a man's dating success.
Using Social Positions to Overcome Physical Shortcomings: An individual's social standing or behavior can greatly influence how they are perceived by others, shifting the focus away from physical attributes. For instance, a man of smaller stature but with incredible confidence, assertiveness, and leadership skills can attract women effectively.
Real-World Attraction Dynamics: Scientific studies presenting women with physical comparisons and questionnaires may suggest women prefer certain physical features. However, it's important to note that these are often artificial and unholistic situations, not reflective of real-world attraction dynamics. Face-to-face interaction allows men to display charisma, leadership, humor, and other traits attractive to women. Given the limited options women often have when choosing a mate, a man who can effectively demonstrate these qualities in the real world has a high chance of success.
The Problem of Perfection: Many men mistakenly believe they need to be physically perfect to be attractive to women. However, no one can fulfill every physical requirement, and everyone has to 'settle' for something less than a perfect ten. What's important is to compensate for these physical 'shortcomings' with qualities that are universally desired by women: masculinity, confidence, charisma, humor, and the ability to provide emotional stimulation.
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs: Limiting beliefs about physical features can significantly hinder dating success. By understanding that attraction to masculine energy, strength, and leadership traits has a higher priority for women than physical features, men can overcome these limiting beliefs and become more confident in their ability to attract women. It's crucial to distinguish the physical limitation from the insecurity it breeds, as it's often the latter that truly affects attractiveness.
Self-Improvement For Attractiveness: Despite being emotionally tough, men can enhance the attractiveness they present to women by working on self-improvement. Developing traits that women value, such as confidence, leadership, and strength can compensate for less-than-ideal physical features. Despite being hard work, these efforts can bring positive transformations and ultimately lead to successful interaction and relationships with women.
Attraction and dating misconceptions: Leo Gura discusses several misconceptions people commonly have about attraction and dating. He notes that attraction is not a one-size-fits-all scenario since people have different tastes. He argues that only 10% of women one meets are likely to be attracted to them, and he considers that a high enough figure. Leo also points out errors in popular beliefs, such as the idea that women are only attracted to muscular men or wealthy men. He emphasizes that women value emotional connection and personality more than these superficial traits.
Common limiting beliefs: Leo addresses several limiting beliefs that can hinder one's success in dating for instance, the expectation to be attractive to all women, the notion that attraction requires big muscles or wealth, and the presumption that introverts cannot be successful with women. He counters these beliefs by sharing anecdotes to demonstrate that attraction can occur despite these presumed limitations. Leo argues, for example, that masculinity, confidence, and charisma are more impactful than physical appearance.
Pickup as a solution: Leo emphasizes the effectiveness of pickup methods to improve dating outcomes. He assures his audience that pickup isn't a scam. It doesn't solely rely on manipulating women for results instead, it incorporates developing characteristics that naturally attract women, such as humor, confidence, assertiveness, and leadership. Leo discusses the importance of authenticity and a result-oriented approach to successfully attract women.
Breaking limiting beliefs: He discusses the importance of challenging and overcoming limiting beliefs in one's dating life. These limiting beliefs can include the presumption that attractive women only like men who are wealthy, or the conceive that personal physical attributes are the main attractors for women, rather than the person's genuine energy or personality.
Importance of practice: Leo stresses the relevance of practice and persistence for improving dating outcomes. He shares personal anecdotes to illustrate that in spite of initial challenges and failures, persistence can bring about success.+
Alterable nature of attraction traits: Leo argues that traits deemed attractive by women, such as confidence, charisma, and a good sense of humor, can be developed over time. These qualities are often more effective in attracting women than wealth or a muscled physique, contradicting some popular beliefs.
Addressing common limiting beliefs: Leo Gura challenges several limiting beliefs regarding pickup, dating, and attractiveness. He disputes the idea that all of pickup is a scam, citing his personal experience as well as the evident successes of others. Furthermore, he acknowledges while part of dating does include the "numbers game" (interacting with a high number of people to increase your success rate), skill and technique also significantly impact results. Leo also dispels the notion that only physically unattractive women can be attracted through pickup, asserting that attractiveness can vary greatly and high-quality partners can be found.
Understanding the asymmetry of gender needs and dating: Leo Gura counters the idea that dating is easier for women because they can easily get sex if they desire. He stresses that women's survival needs revolve around securing commitment from quality men, not simply 'getting laid.' He also discusses the risks and challenges women face, such as sexual abuse, pregnancy, and physical danger, asserting that dating is not necessarily easier for women.
Highlighting the opportunity for men to improve their attractiveness: Leo Gura emphasizes the flexibility men have in improving their attractiveness through personal development and cultivating attractive traits like confidence and leadership. He argues that while women can make cosmetic changes, men have the potential to increase their attractiveness more drastically through personal growth.
Acknowledging individual variations and the importance of overcoming personal weaknesses: Leo stresses that people are born with different strengths, weaknesses, and genetic factors. He recognizes that some men might naturally excel in socializing and attracting women, while others have to work harder due to their inherent characteristics or personality. Using his own experiences, he reinforces the idea that personal weaknesses can be improved upon, and it's important to not dwell on comparing oneself to others.
Promoting the understanding of the totality of a person's life: Leo emphasizes that each individual has their strengths and weaknesses spread out across different aspects of their lives. While someone might be naturally gifted in social skills, they might struggle in career, finances, or spiritual aspects, and vice versa. He encourages seeing the totality of a person's life situation, rather than focusing narrowly on a single aspect.
Feminism and its impact on dating: Leo Gura disputes the belief that feminism and the #MeToo movement have made it more difficult for men to approach women. Instead, he highlights the importance of approaching and interacting with women in a socially responsible and ethical manner, and not resorting to deceptive tactics or unwelcome advances. Being respectful, without being intrusive, can often have a positive impact, making women feel good and valued.
Dispelling negative stereotypes about women: Leo challenges common stereotypes about women being deceitful, unfaithful, or financially motivated in their relationships. He shares that from his experiences, most women are careful about who they have sex with, are usually honest, and not primarily driven by a partner's wealth. This negative perception of women is a misguided defense mechanism employed by men unable to achieve their desired success with women.
Realizing the abundance of potential partners: Leo debunks the limiting belief that there are too few 'good' girls available by highlighting that this perception arises from a lack of socializing and insufficient interaction with new people. By making an effort to meet and interact with more women, one can appreciate the abundance of potential partners in the dating pool.
Misconception about Pick-up community: Leo tackles the belief that pick-up techniques do not work, explaining that failure in this domain often stems from an incorrect approach and lack of persistence rather than any inherent flaws in the pickup strategies. Those who have failed initially should consider giving it another try, employing a more serious and dedicated approach.
Limitations of Cold Approach dating based on demographic: Leo acknowledges that age could impact the effectiveness of cold approaching, recommending that individuals over 40 could potentially find more success with social circle methods. However, he asserts that for individuals in their 20s and 30s, its never too late to improve their dating skills and situations.
The importance of inner game: Leo emphasizes that success in dating hinges significantly upon one's inner state of being, with negative attitudes and limiting beliefs often being the biggest obstacles rather than the individual's physical attractiveness or financial status. He outlines traits that women generally find attractive, such as masculinity, confidence, charisma, humor, and emotional stimulation, and explains the need for men to cultivate these qualities.
The unhelpful behaviors in men: Leo lists various behaviors that women find unattractive, including neediness, desperation, attachment, insecurity, fear, and inappropriate sexual comments. He suggests that avoiding these can lead to better success and recommends developing social calibration skills to make women feel comfortable.
The role of fame in dating success: Leo refutes the idea that fame and success are necessary prerequisites for dating success. He shares his personal experiences of dating success despite not being famous initially, instead attributing his achievements to personal development and learning to socialize and charm women in a socially calibrated manner.
Steps for improving one's dating life: Leo outlines steps to improve one's dating life, emphasizing the importance of aspiring to attract new people, regular socializing, proactively dealing with limiting beliefs, and developing persistence in one's approach to dating. He also reassures that physical attractiveness and wealth are less significant than often believed.
The need to socialize and meet new people: Leo underlines the importance of regular social interactions and commitment to meeting new people for developing effective social skills. He cautions against toxic ideologies that demonize or manipulate women and stresses the importance of maintaining ethical standards, empathy, integrity, and respectful behavior when interacting with women.
Inner game and its impact on dating and relationships: Leo highlights that the mind's limiting beliefs, about oneself and about women, sex, and dating, can significantly affect healthy relationships and a satisfying sex life. By cultivating a positive inner game, one can overcome such limiting beliefs and achieve improved outcomes in dating and other areas of life.
Overcoming limiting beliefs and false stereotypes about dating: Leo addresses and refutes various limiting beliefs that hinder people's success in dating and relationships. Examples include blaming the feminist movement for personal failures in dating, and viewing women through negative, stereotypical lenses. He clarifies misconceptions about dating and emphasizes the importance of respectful, ethical behaviors when interacting with women.
Cold Approach learning curve: Leo discusses the steep learning curve that comes with cold approach dating. An elevated number of approaches initially might be required to achieve the first successful outcome, but with practice, the number of approaches needed reduces exponentially. It's critical to be persistent and committed to overcoming rejection and improving skills.
Traits that attract women: Women are universally attracted to masculine energy, strength, confidence, charisma, charm, humor, and emotional stimulation among other traits. A well-defined and assertively expressed personality, and the ability to evoke a wide range of emotions, are also attractive to women. By working on these attributes, men can improve their dating success.
Male Traits that Attract Women: Women are attracted to leadership, decisiveness, authenticity, vulnerability, and deep intimacy in a man. They are also drawn to boldness, high status, strong eye contact, and men who prioritize their life purpose above romantic interests. Women generally prefer men who are well-groomed, sharply dressed, clean, and fit.
Behaviors that Repel Women: Women are repulsed by neediness, desperation, excessive niceness, fearfulness, and explicit sexual vulgarity. Trying to impress a woman, being fake, and engaging in boring logical talk also drive women away. Men who force women to lead conversations and decision-making processes, poorly maintain personal hygiene, and display creepiness equally turn off women.
Importance of Social Grace: To attract women, it's crucial to avoid making them feel awkward. This means mastering the art of being socially calibrated and ensuring they don't feel explicitly desired only for sex. It also involves fitting into a social circle and exuding importance.
Overcoming Personal Limitations for Attraction: Leo debunks the claim that his personal successes are the sole reasons for his dating success. He shares that he used to be overweight, socially anxious, and not famous, and still managed to attract women. This shows that fame and success don't guarantee success in dating. What matters is social proficiency, overcoming personal limitations, and improving oneself.
Importance of Inner Game and Confidence: It's paramount to avoid placing women on a pedestal or treating them as the most critical aspect of life. Instead, maintaining a balanced perspective, prioritizing one's life purpose, and being confident and authentic in one's approach helps build real attraction.
Effective Strategies for Attraction: Leo advises men to refrain from treating women as objects of sexual satisfaction or making them appear in a deprecating light before others. Instead, men should lead conversations, be proactive in planning dates, and work on presenting themselves in a positively appealing manner.
Misconceptions and Limiting Beliefs about Attraction: Leo debunks various misconceptions about attracting women. He clarifies that though good looks and wealth might offer an advantage, they aren't the main determinants of success in attracting women. He emphasizes that personal development, charisma, and social skills can compensate for perceived physical or financial inadequacies.
Charisma and public speaking: Leo Gura mentions that the charisma he exhibits while speaking publicly was learned from years of practicing game, including enhancing voice depth, expressiveness, and maintaining definitiveness in speech.
Self-development and the process of success: He emphasizes that one should not assume he was naturally charismatic and successful, as it took considerable effort, practice, and self-improvement to get where he is, including learning how to smile genuinely on command.
Five steps of attracting women: Leo outlines a five-step process for attracting women, which includes envisioning oneself attracting attractive women, studying principles of attraction, regularly socializing, working on eliminating victim complex and limiting beliefs, and being tenacious and persistent.
Success and limiting beliefs: He adds that as individuals talk to more women, they are likely to encounter situations that contradict their limiting beliefs, leading to their dissolution and improved success rates.
Commitment to socializing: He stresses a commitment to meeting and chatting with at least 30 new women weekly as the first step to improving results in dating. He suggests finding places where meeting new people is possible and even moving cities if necessary.
Ethical considerations in dating: Leo advises against subscribing to toxic ideologies that demonize women or promote manipulation. Instead, he emphasizes respect, empathy, and integrity in all interactions.
Life beyond the internet: He encourages more time outside of the house, engaging in face-to-face socializing, and avoiding excessive gaming or social media use. Personal development, finding life purpose, and becoming a well-rounded individual is key.
Social Activities over Screen Time: Leo Gura advises against spending excessive time on social media, video games, and TV. Instead, he encourages investing time and energy in socializing and going out to meet new people.
Ethical Behavior in Pickup Community: Leo criticizes the pickup community for enforcing egotism, selfishness, and manipulation in dealing with women. Instead, he advocates honesty, integrity, and empathy. He disapproves of developing an ideology around being a "pickup artist" and emphasizes the importance of treating women ethically and with respect.
Improving Inner Game: Leo emphasizes the importance of improving inner game - one's beliefs, mindset, and attitudes - in order to have healthier relationships and better experiences in dating. He indicates that one's beliefs about oneself, women, dating, and sex can significantly influence outcomes in dating.
Importance of Consciousness: Leo asserts that as one becomes more conscious of their limiting beliefs and how their minds construct reality, they can achieve better results in dating. He suggests that the problems in dating life may not lie with external factors but within one's own mind, and working on this inner game can significantly improve relationships and dating life.
Leveraging Pickup to Improve Inner Game: Leo suggests that learning pickup artistry can be a practical way to uncover one's self-imposed limitations and improve inner game. Through the process of breaking down limiting beliefs and developing new perspectives, individuals can improve not only their dating situation but also other domains of their lives.
Pickup from Personal Development Perspective: Leo encourages viewers to perceive pickup as a part of personal development, spiritual growth, and consciousness development, rather than only a tool to get laid. He anticipates that after viewers get their dating situations handled, they could progress to higher levels of personal and spiritual development.