How To Get Laid - Part 2 - Outer Game Techniques

• Understanding Outer Game Mechanics and Techniques: Leo Gura underlines the importance of practicing and field-testing the outer game techniques he proposes for improving men's confidence and skills in approaching women. Emphasizing the importance of presenting a natural and smooth approach, he describes the game as about gaining enough experience to understand and react appropriately to the subtleties of women’s cues. Game also requires learning how to flirt, be playful and emotional, demonstrate wit, and improve verbal skills. Understanding how to rapidly establish friendly connections and make someone feel comfortable are critical components of the game. Participants must learn how to present themselves as naturally confident and capable of attracting women, specifically in ways that are authentic to their unique personality and style. This takes time, practice, exploration, and a strong belief in oneself, as well as the ability to overcome negative beliefs and fears of rejection. Leo also stresses the importance of handling logistical problems and circumventing obstacles that could hinder progress.
• Gauging and Evoking Response: Leo reiterates the importance of initiating an approach with confidence, sincerity and a genuine belief in one’s attractiveness. He advises practising a quick binary decision-making approach—either being attracted enough to approach a woman or not at all—instead of overthinking the process. Constantly interpreting women’s responses to gauge their comfort levels and readjust accordingly also helps with calibration, which Leo refers to as the process of making a woman feel comfortable with one's physical touch and easing the potential awkwardness of meeting an unknown person.
• Creating Connection and Attraction: Leo proposes a variety of tactics to foster a deep and genuine connection with a woman. These include making conversation through interesting and intimate questions, and utilizing playful flirtation to exhibit sexual intent. He advises men to be resilient and attempt to extend the conversation as long as possible, adaptive to a woman's feelings and reactions, and confident and expressive of their value without appearing too desperate or relinquishing their power.
• Determining Relationship Status and Moving Forward: Leo encourages audiences to determine the woman's relationship status within the first five minutes of conversation to manage efforts and expectations effectively. Moving forward with the intention of driving the interaction towards a potential sexual situation, he suggests engaging the woman in more enjoyable activities or changing the location. Leo stresses that men should not fixate too much on the quality of their first line or opener but rather ensure it is complemented with consistent and engaging conversation.
• Physical Escalation and Building Rapport: Leo discusses the concept of gradual physical escalation, or the Kino escalation ladder, to escalate from innocuous touches to more intimate and sexual ones while paying attention to the woman's reactions. Leo underlines that being responsive to the signs and adjusts accordingly is critical. Respect and authenticity should also be maintained during the exchange. Building rapport, making the woman feel comfortable, and gaining her trust are essential steps before any attempts at seduction.
• Navigating Day Game and Night Game: Leo examines day game and night game, stating his preference for night game due to the higher number of women available. He acknowledges that the challenge with day game is discovering populated areas to approach women, though he prefers day game for setting up direct dates. Coming off as genuinely attracted to a woman during a direct open in day game is essential, while more audacious openers are acceptable during nighttime interactions.
• Exploring Authentic Style and Handling Logistics: Leo emphasizes the need to find one’s authentic style of expressing romantic interest, maintaining congruity in actions, and practising observational statements for continuous conversation flow. He recommends exploring one’s city for the best locations to approach women, investing time into researching these locations. He declares relocating to a bustling city, despite the logistical challenges, could be advantageous for dating and personal development alike.
• Overcoming Social Anxiety and Fear of Rejection: Leo discusses the significance of persistence, learning from failures, and maintaining a positive vision of self-growth for the individuals who have a fear of rejection or social anxiety. He underscores that the quantity of approaches matter, recommending a commitment of up to a thousand approaches. He also highlights the supportive role of wingmen, which can provide emotional support and camaraderie in social situations.
• Improving Communication: Leo shares tips on how to improve communication with women and notes the importance of engaging the woman's friends in conversation, staying until the end of the conversation and focusing on creating insta-dates. He advocates overcoming one's self-doubt, managing mood swings, and building rapport and intimacy by sharing personal stories.
• Discovering one's unique style: Leo talks about the importance of developing a unique style when it comes to romantic approaches. This means finding a method that suits the individual's personality, rather than copying others. This could take years of practice, much like discovering your unique voice as an artist. This discovery process will eventually lead to an authentic and confident self which is attractive to others.
• Advocating 'being yourself': Leo notes that women often advise men to "just be yourself" when it comes to dating. However, he stresses that being oneself takes practice and it doesn't come easily. It involves confronting and overcoming fears, doubts, and anxieties about rejection, judgment, and failure. An individual gradually grows to express their authentic romantic feelings, and is finally able to respond to a woman’s signals without hesitation.
• Experience needed to become 'cool' or appealing: Leo outlines how society has a dichotomy where individuals are either seen as 'creepy' or 'cool' with no room for transition. He argues that one can transition from being seen as 'creepy' to 'cool' or pleasant through controlled and conscious effort. This involves transforming from a conscious lack of social skills to being naturally social, flirtatious, and enjoyable to be around.
• Transition from unconscious to conscious behaviors: Leo highlights that many people operate on autopilot, leaving aspects of life like dating and sex to just 'happen'. He advocates for conscious practice and improvement in these areas. This practice initially might be awkward and attract criticism but ultimately leads to a natural and effortless execution of these skills.
• Finding appropriate locations for approaching women: Lastly, Leo advises men to research and discover locations in their city where approaching women could be most rewarding. This involves exploring areas of high population density, such as bars, clubs, malls, shopping centers, cafes, colleges, streets, and parks. He suggests spending considerable time in these areas to better understand the environment and increase chances of successful approaches.
• Exploring Area for Game: Leo stresses the need to find areas with a high volume of women for effective approaches. This could involve exploring one's own city to know the best times and places to approach women. Leo says that lack of location awareness often discourages men.
• Relocating for Game Improvement: If good places for approaching women aren't available in one's city, Leo recommends moving cities as a commitment to improving game. He emphasizes that shifting cities not only enhances the dating life but also contributes to personal growth.
• Best Cities for Game: For individuals in the US, Leo suggests New York, Las Vegas, Miami, Austin, and Los Angeles as best for game. Internationally, one should look for dense metro areas with good nightlife like London and other large European cities.
• Day Game vs Night Game: Leo defines 'Day Game' as gaming during day time at places like college campuses, sidewalks, malls, cafes, and 'Night Game' as gaming at night, mainly at bars and clubs. Night game advantages include alcohol loosening people up, high-energy environment, tolerance for less socially calibrated approaches, high volume of potential approaches, and more chances of direct results. Day game lends itself to direct approaches, genuine attraction, easier social calibration, but fewer opportunities and less likely to lead to same-day hookups.
• Overcoming 'Game' challenges: For people who are low energy, night game could be a challenge. Leo suggests rookies cut their teeth on night game as it puts you in the thick of the action and is good for learning, despite it being difficult.
• Choosing between Day Game and Night Game: Leo shares his personal preference for day game, but mentions the challenge of finding a high volume of attractive women in most places during the day. Generally, a combination of the skills acquired in both day and night game can be more advantageous.
• Moving Cities and Game: Leo strongly emphasizes that moving cities can significantly improve one's game as it opens one to new experiences, helps break out of a rut, and exposes one to a whole new pool of potential interests. The process of moving may seem like a hassle initially, but the benefits can make it worthwhile.
• Frequent Approaches for Acquiring Game Skills: The rarity of genuine attraction during day game means fewer approaches, which could limit gaining experience. For beginners, this can be resolved with combining day and night game in order to maximize experience and improve skills.
• Genuine Attraction in Day Game: In day game, a direct approach should be driven by genuine attraction. This can make day game a challenge considering genuine attraction might not happen as frequently. Night game does not demand as much genuine attraction for the approach to happen.
• Approaches to Game based on Personal Attributes: Leo points out that personal attributes can dictate one's approach to game. High-energy individuals might do better in night game, whereas low-energy individuals might find day game more suited for them.
• Approach Quality: Despite its limitations, day game offers a unique benefit in that women are less approached during the day. Hence, a man capable of making a smooth, natural approach during the day is sure to leave a significant impression on a woman. Leo emphasizes that fewer approaches can lead to successful results in day game compared to night game.
• Importance of genuine attraction: Leo Gura stressed on the importance of genuinely feeling attracted to a woman before approaching her. He suggests that this takes practice and experience, and one should be able to understand their preferences and standards for what they want in a woman.
• Day game vs night game: He compared day and night game mentioning the benefits of night game, which include longer hours of interaction and getting experience in flirting, joking, having fun, dancing. Day game, on the other hand, offers less time to interact with a woman as they're usually busy and on-the-go, he suggests day game is more ideal for setting up future dates.
• Approaching women: Gura advised scanning the woman properly before initiating an approach, assessing their level of attraction towards her. He advocated for not overthinking the approach and having a clear, binary approach for whether they are attracted enough to approach a woman or not.
• The first interaction with a woman: Gura suggests getting her attention firmly before saying anything else. This includes making strong eye contact, smiling, and giving a pause for her to respond before starting the conversation. The initial approach should be direct, confident, and unambiguous.
• Importance of the 'Opener': Leo mentions that although many men spend time overthinking what their opening line should be, it is not important and can literally be anything. The primary focus should be on keeping the conversation going post the opener.
• Proactive approach to women: Leo highlights the significance of making a proactive and direct approach to a woman, ensuring that she knows you are genuinely interested in her. He advises against premature conclusions and encourages gradual progression in the conversation.
• Differences in approach for day and night: Leo draws a line between the strategies used for day and night game. Day game involves a direct approach seizing a genuine attraction, while night game allows for socialization and can include approaches to women one is not necessarily interested in.
• Opening Remarks: Opening conversations should be natural, genuine, and honest. Rather than questions, make observations about her to instigate a more interesting, emotional conversation.
• Relaxation and Playfulness: Demonstrating a relaxed demeanor and deriving enjoyment from interactions helps in disarming potential tension and anxiety. This needs practice as initial encounters can be nerve-wracking.
• Genuineness and Honesty: Expressing authentic feelings and intentions is integral to the interaction. Being genuine gives a better chance for deeper connection than resorting to dishonest games or tactics.
• Avoiding Interview-Like Conversations: Instead of typical questions such as "Where do you work?", it is preferred to make assumptions or informed statements about her to engage her emotionally.
• Engaging Emotionally: A focus on engaging conversation emotionally rather than logically facilitates deeper connections. Questions related to passions, likes and dislikes about oneself can be used to foster emotional conversation.
• Flirtation and Teasing: Showcasing a playful, flirtatious side is essential for communicating an interest beyond friendship. Using teasing lines and implicating a dating opportunity subtly without being explicit about it is effective.
• Exhibiting Higher Value: Displaying a level of confidence that suggests a higher value encourages a more attractive interaction. This doesn't mean belittling the other person, but showcasing self-value without arrogance.
• Express Attractions Beyond Physicality: Complimenting or stating attractions beyond physical appearance, like her energy or style, can make a more meaningful connection. Explicit sexual statements should be avoided for a more respectful conversation.
• Handling Resistance and Negative Outcomes: Negative responses, if any, should be handled calmly. It's important to remember that the person you're interacting with may have their own reservations or discomforts too.
• Building a strong connection: Leo Gura emphasizes the importance of establishing a strong connection with the woman through engaging and emotional conversation that lasts as long as possible. This fortifies the chances for a more solid phone number or her agreement to go to a new location with you. A connection built in less than five minutes often leads to flakiness afterwards.
• Due diligence before encroaching: Asking early on, within the first five minutes, if the woman is single avoids the risk of wasting time. It acts as an explicit statement of one's romantic interest. Even if she isn't single, it saves on the time and effort that would've been spent otherwise.
• Push for an instant date or number: Try to push for an instant date for a coffee or a drink if possible. If she doesn't have the time, then get her number and try to set up something later on. The flake rate with numbers obtained this way is often high because either there wasn't a deep enough connection or she isn't attracted to you.
• Overall approach strategy: The primary steps include the approach, being playful, expressing your romantic interest, leading her towards a casual meet-up such as coffee or a drink, and bouncing her to different locations. As long as she isn't insisting on departing, staying with her as long as possible is recommended.
• The "Can I come with you" strategy: One of the potentially most effective strategies for pursuing romantic interests is simply asking, "Can I come with you?" wherever she is going. This approach, assuming the woman is interested and comfortable with your presence, can lead to unexpected success, as chances increase for you to build a bond and connection with her at different stages of the journey.
• Confidence and authenticity: The idea is to exude confidence and authenticity, not by expressing your material achievements or physical attributes, but by subtly establishing the idea that you are of higher value, and that she would be lucky to be with you, despite the fact you approached her first. It's about taking a leadership role, demonstrating your experience, and understanding that the balance of the relationship scales towards you.
• Understanding her interests and passions: During the interaction, inquire about her life, career, and passions. Patiently listen to her responses and subtly test her on the information she provides. Her meditation skills, for instance. Teasing her lightly about these can create a playful atmosphere and assert your leadership role, adding to your attractiveness.
• Remember to maintain congruence: It's essential to remain congruent to your persona throughout the interaction, gradually evolving from a slightly dishonest front to a more genuine presentation as your confidence and life experience grows. This naturally puts you in a position of leadership that the woman can look up to.
• Approach Analyzation: Approaching a woman should be analyzed and dissected into a systematic order, where first, you push for an instant date for a coffee or a drink, then ask for her phone number if denied, and ultimately as things proceed forward, invite her to your house. This approach increases the possibility of a successful romantic engagement.
• Handling rejection or acceptance: It's essential to be prepared for both positive and negative responses from her. For example, a girl might already have a boyfriend, not find you attractive, or might be interested but not show active effort to make it happen. Learning to navigate this myriad of possible responses is integral to 'game'.
• Importance of leading in relationships: It's the man's responsibility to lead the interaction towards sex, and where possible, the man should handle all the logistics for this. If a woman appears uncomfortable, a simple invite to accompany her somewhere can facilitate the move towards intimacy.
• Successful Pickup Structure: A successful approach includes several steps: direct approach and grabbing attention, delivering the opening line, maintaining strong eye contact, squaring up (facing her directly), and playful flirtation with sexual intent. It's important not to make explicit sex references but instead imply interest through body language and eye contact.
• Conversation Techniques for Engagement: It's essential to make less-structured, more engaging conversation by free-associating, riffing back and forth based on what she says, and jumping between topics. One should avoid turning conversations into interviews. To connect more deeply, ask interesting questions, make statements, and perform cold reads to keep the conversation going.
• Physical Escalation Techniques: Upon reaching the 'hook point', or point of attraction, one should start physical escalation using the "Kino escalation ladder" – starting with non-sexual physical contact, such as a tap on the shoulder, and gradually increasing the level of intimacy, always paying attention to her comfort level. It's crucial to express sexual intent through implicit communication and escalate physical contact based on her reactions.
• Advice for approaching women: When you approach, it needs to be face-to-face with strong eye contact to communicate attraction. Overthinking your approach isn't beneficial - the quality of your opener doesn't directly influence her attraction, but congruency and energy levels do. One can experiment with different types of openers, taking the idea to the extreme and being obnoxious in energetic, fun environments can also work successfully.
• Conversational dynamics post-approaching: After opening, you have to carry the conversation - talking around 95% of the time for the first few minutes until she is attracted and becomes more invested. Rather than an awkward silence after the opener, follow up with conversation to spark her interest and engage her in the dialogue.
• Physical Escalation: Physical escalation begins with smooth and nonthreatening touches to areas like the shoulders. One can poke or tap the woman in a playful manner to gauge her comfort level. Escalation should parallel her comfort level, which can be assessed by her facial reactions or body language.
• Permission and Consent: Consent, whether explicit or implicit, is necessary in physical escalation. Paradoxically, a woman's continuing to smile or laugh while escalating touch often indicates implicit consent, while a cold look or avoiding eye contact often indicates non-consent.
• Building rapport: After creating initial attraction, it is necessary to build rapport and forge emotional connections. This involves engaging her in deeper conversations about oneself, one’s dreams, passions, etc. Staying in the conversation for an extended period boosts rapport.
• Handling logistics: Understanding a woman's situation (her friends, plans, accommodation, etc.) is essential for planning the interaction and potentially setting up scenarios for sex. One should ask logistic-related questions early and throughout the interaction. It's also important to handle her friends and potentially move around locations with her for a successful outcome.
• Physical Escalation - Advanced: The physical touch can gradually become more explicit, involving hugging, rubbing, or even squeezing more sensual parts like the hips, legs, and buttocks. This heavily escalated form of physical escalation is typically more suited to nighttime interactions. Always pay close attention to her reactions and adjust the escalation accordingly to maintain respect and authenticity.
• Sexual Escalation: Higher degrees of sexual escalation, while always dependent on her comfort and congruency, can be rapidly achieved with consenting and attracted women, sometimes even within 30 seconds during night game.
• Respect and Calibration: Physical escalation must always be conducted with the woman's comfort in mind. If she displays any signs of discomfort, the escalation should be temporarily halted and her comfort restored before trying again. Respect for her comfort and consent, whether verbally or non-verbally, is essential.
• Trust and Rapport Building: For the woman to feel comfortable enough to escalate further with you, trust and rapport must be established. Sharing stories, spending extended periods in conversation, and deep emotional connections can all contribute to an environment where she feels comfortable and secure.
• Handling Logistics and Friends: Understanding a woman's logistical situation (Whether she's local, where she is staying, how she got there, who she is with, what her plans are, etc.), and managing her friends can significantly influence how an interaction progresses. It's important to calculate and plan the interaction as the information is being gathered. This includes befriending her friends, and being willing to go with her and her friends if she refuses to leave them.
• Leading and Movement: Leading the woman around the venue and getting her comfortable with following you is an essential part of the interaction. Movement can include shifting locations within the venue or moving to different places altogether.
• Leading a woman and moving around the venue: Leo Gura emphasizes the importance of leading a woman and moving around different areas of a venue to gauge her comfort level. If she is comfortable following, more chances are there of her following you home. He suggests that moving to different venues like bars and eateries can make the interaction feel adventurous and can help in building comfort and familiarity.
• Attraction, rapport building, and seduction: Leo discusses the three essential phases in the process of attracting a woman - attraction, rapport building, and seduction. The attraction phase involves making her attracted to you in the first few minutes of the interaction. The rapport phase involves making the woman comfortable around you and making her trust you, which can last up to a couple of hours. The seduction phase involves isolating her in a room and sexually arousing her. If she resists, it indicates a need for more rapport building.
• Inverting the phases: Leo Gura warns that inverting the order of these phases can sometimes cause problems. For example, skipping the rapport phase and moving directly from attraction to seduction can lead to the woman not feeling comfortable enough to go home with you. However, in some cases, he admits it can work if the attraction is extremely high.
• Training areas to improve approach: Leo suggests several areas to focus on for improving your approach to women including approaching without excuses, strong and direct approaches, squaring up to her face for attention, maintaining strong, unwavering eye contact, smiling during the opening, speaking with a firm and clear vocal tone, slowing down the speech and movements, and being relaxed and present with her.
• Comfort in High-Energy Club Environments: Developing comfort in loud, high-energy clubs is key. This can be a struggle for introverted individuals. However, one can train oneself to become more comfortable in such environments by just standing still and absorbing the energy.
• Building Social State: One should aim to be having fun and be in a relaxed and playful state when interacting with women. This state can be built by approaching women continuously, regardless of whether it leads to success or rejection. Avoid overthinking and doubting during this process, as it can hamper the progress of building social state.
• Staying Sober: Leo advises against drinking alcohol while socializing. Instead, he recommends building up a fun and relaxed state while staying completely sober. He believes one can have more fun being sober than being drunk, and it also keeps the person's full wits at their disposal.
• Practicing Sexual Intent and Physical Escalation: Within the first five minutes of talking to a woman, it should be clear that there is romantic or sexual interest. Physical escalation can be a polarizing method, leading to immediate attraction or rejection. Though it might result in more rejections, the successful interactions can be more straightforward and enjoyable.
• Asking Screening Questions and Handling Logistics: It is recommended to ask questions about the woman's logistics without making it awkward. Obtaining this information about her plans, living situation, and other aspects can be vital for steering the interaction according to the situation.
• Flirting and Keeping the Conversation Going: One needs to practice not running out of things to say. This can be done by making observations about the woman, cold reading, and making statements instead of only asking questions. Be emotional rather than logical in these conversations, and use exaggeration to create a playful, dramatic dynamic.
• Talking About Oneself: Introverted individuals often struggle with talking about themselves, but this skill is important for keeping conversations engaging and allowing the woman to learn more about them. Topics of conversation can range from daily routines to personal aspirations and experiences.
• Being Challenging: Expressing disagreement or dislike in a playful and exaggerated manner can create an interesting dynamic in the conversation. It is important to tease and challenge the woman instead of being a pushover.
• Avoiding Alcohol and Building One's State Sober: To build confidence in social interactions and stay in control, it’s better to avoid alcoholic drinks and build a social state while being sober. It's possible to reach a state of having more fun sober than most people do when drunk, and you save money and protect your health while doing so.
• Practicing Self-Confidence and Physical Escalation: Spend time focusing solely on physical escalation. The idea is to become comfortable and skillful enough to be able to escalate a conversation quickly in an authentic and fun manner.
• Building Rapport Through Personal Conversations: To fill up conversation space and to help the woman learn more about you, talk about personal experiences and plans. This allows for deeper connections while avoiding awkward silences.
• Improving charisma and expressiveness: The video segment emphasizes on improving charisma and making expressions more vivid and engaging by using facial expressions, voice modulation and hand gestures. Developing charisma can be aided by online courses, books and YouTube channels dedicated to the topic.
• Practicing improvisation and free association: A helpful technique in fluid conversation is improvisation and free association- connecting different topics based on a single train of thought and jumping between multiple threads of conversation.
• Employing self-deprecating humor: Rather than attempting to impress or brag, using self-deprecating humor as a disarming tactic can be beneficial.
• Avoiding sexually explicit comments: Making vulgar sexually explicit comments can cause discomfort and is generally ineffectual. Topics on sexual exploits or explicit references tend to repulse women.
• Engaging with the woman's friends: Establishing a friendly relationship with the woman's friends, for instance by giving compliments or engaging in polite conversation, can prevent them from inhibiting the interaction with the woman.
• Sticking out the conversation: It is advised to remain in conversation as long as possible before abruptly requesting for a contact number or instigating an instant date.
• Leadership and logistics management: It is important to lead by moving and navigating different locations throughout the interaction.
• Managing self-doubt and maintaining a positive mood: It is essential to maintain a positive mood, handle self-doubt, and focus on the interaction irrespective of external or internal circumstances.
• Building rapport and intimacy: Developing a connection and rapport is important to establish trust. This may include communicating personal stories and shared experiences.
• Maintaining authenticity in communication: Authenticity in communication should be maintained while sharing personal stories. These stories should not just be engaging but also reveal something about the person's character. Stories about compassionate acts or interesting experiences can be effective in portraying one's personality.
• Understanding Personal Story Sharing: Personal stories play an important role in building rapport because they reveal aspects of your character and create a sense of familiarity, resulting in greater trust.
• Navigating Shit Tests: Women, particularly highly attractive ones, may test men's authenticity and the strength of their character. Such tests aim to identify whether a man's confidence and assertive behavior are genuine or merely a facade. Successfully navigating these tests requires remaining grounded and unphased, demonstrating stability and strength.
• Handling Mixed Signals and Token Resistance: Women sometimes send mixed signals or display token resistance as part of the dating game. These can take the form of last-minute hurdles or tacit tests to gauge the man's reaction. Dealing with such situations effectively requires experience and understanding that these behaviors are often meant to test the man's resolve and composure, rather than actual disinterest or rejection.
• Challenging Mixed Signals Reasoning: Women may provide excuses or reasons to avoid appearing too easy or promiscuous, yet may still be interested in pursuing a sexual relationship. Men need to differentiate between genuine concerns and game-playing.
• The Importance of Game in Men-Women Interactions: The paradox of the dating game is that while men prefer a direct and straightforward approach, the societal norms and taboos around sex necessitate the 'game,' creating a space for indirect communication and implicit suggestions. This means that men often need to use subtle techniques and avoid directly stating their intent to establish an emotional connection conducive for sex, despite the seemingly deceptive nature.
• Overcoming Approach Anxiety: The only way to overcome approach anxiety is by consistently practicing approaching women despite fear. This is essential for gaining confidence and adjusting to various situations.
• Complimenting Women: Complimenting women on more than just their physical appearance can strengthen connections. Compliments on a woman's personality, spirit, or style can be more meaningful.
• Explaining Attraction To The Woman: It's crucial to effectively communicate to a woman why you're attracted to her. This may require knowing her better or identifying personal preferences. Understanding the need for the woman to feel special can lead to a more positive reaction.
• Expect Rejections: Rejections are inevitable when approaching women. They should not be taken personally. It is to be expected that a third of women will naturally have a dislike towards a specific individual's personality, while another third could be neutral and the remaining third may be attracted.
• Dealing with Self-Doubt: Handling self-doubt and maintaining a positive mindset is key while approaching women. Highlighting personal successes rather than focusing on failures can help boost self-esteem.
• Purpose of Approaching Women: You should approach women with the goal of both parties showing their authentic personalities. It's not about convincing every woman to like you, but being authentically enough to attract a few people strongly.
• Basic Guidance for Beginners: Newcomers to dating should focus on basic techniques to improve their game like finding suitable places to approach, maintaining strong eye contact, being positive, and always trying to end the interaction with setting up dates or moving to the new location.
• Understanding Both Parties Are Playing a Game: Both men and women tend to play games when it comes to dating, but maintaining honesty and authenticity can lead to stronger bonds.
• Importance of perseverance: Leo Gura emphasizes that the process of improving game is filled with failure, noting that failure is how you learn. He encourages determination and persistence, suggesting one should do at least a thousand approaches before quitting.
• Role of wingmen: He cites the importance of good wingmen, not just for assistance but for emotional support and camaraderie. This can help you keep a positive vibe throughout the night, irrespective of whether or not the interactions with women were successful.
• Effect of bad nights: Leo explains that there will be bad nights, which can be incredibly challenging, both emotionally and mentally. These nights should be viewed as opportunities for growth, and one should focus on the lessons learned. He also notes that a bad night often leads to a better night afterward, as it forces you to work harder and appreciate good nights more.
• Larger vision and self-support: Leo emphasizes the importance of having a larger vision beyond just getting sex or attracting girls. The larger vision should be personal growth and transformation, becoming more charismatic and social. Additionally, it is crucial to be one's own cheerleader, maintaining a positive mindset and striving to improve.
• Progression and small steps for overcoming social anxiety: For those suffering from severe shyness or social anxiety, Leo advises starting with basic socialization—chatting up clerks or cashiers, talking to strangers in various settings, joining local groups with similar interests through platforms such as meetup.com. He also recommends observing the approaches of supportive wingmen.
• Need for consistency and self-analysis: Leo reinforces the importance of consistency in going out and making approaches. Progress should be self-assessed on a monthly basis. He also explains that even though there are bad days and slow days, it’s key to keep moving.
• Time frame for seeing results: Leo explains that it took him around 450 approaches to get his first successful result. He states that getting good and consistent usually requires between 5 to 10 thousand approaches. He advises aiming for 20 approaches three nights a week for a year, which amounts to nearly 3,000 approaches—a worthwhile number for gaining significant experience.
• Serious results in dating skills come after substantial practice: Important to commit to thousands of approaches for a longer period, typically a year, to understand game deeply and become aware of personal deficiencies. The payoff of serious consistency and outcomes typically come after about 10,000 approaches.
• Consistency and self-awareness are key: Regular practice and consistency are vital. Focus on distinct sticking points, such as eye contact or physical escalation, working on them for several weeks or even months. Analyze your interactions after every night, understand what went well and what didn't, learning from the experience.
• Overcoming challenges: It’s important to enjoy the steep learning curve of attracting women, not wish it away, and learn from it, using the experience to become a stronger person. Caution against excessive drinking as it's unhealthy, costly, and can hinder game performance.
• Differentiating between attraction and relationships: Understanding the difference between attracting a woman (from meeting to first sex) and maintaining a relationship is crucial. Attraction requires stimulating a woman's emotions through game while relationships require different strategies. Relationships only come after the woman has sex and becomes invested in you.
• Life purpose combined with dating skills: Finding your sense of life purpose and aligning your life, career, and goals with it should be done alongside improving dating skills. A man with a purpose is attractive to women, offering stability, confidence, and a clear sense of direction. The Life Purpose Course offered by Leo is recommended to guide in finding and aligning with your life purpose.